Monday, April 11, 2011

Pool Party, and Other Things!

There wasn't much turnaround time after arriving at the big guy's place. He apparently has gotten caught up in this whole "traveling all over the place" thing. No sooner do I arrive back in Montana, than I'm packed up, ready to join him in meeting up with some old friends!

It was off to the Empire state to spend the weekend on Long Island
with BTExpress, and his girlfriend
Lori. BTE was throwing a party to show off his new pool/landscaping in his back yard, and the big guy jumped all over that opportunity! BTE and I met when I was in Detroit, and the big guy had met the both of them at his birthday soiree a few years ago. As a surprise for BTE, the always lovely Shizzle showed up to spice up the day! It was great to see her again!

There was drinking, eating, swimming, chatting... Really a wonderful afternoon! As the chicken on the grill was just getting ready to be served, Hubman and Another Suburban Mom came around the corner! Lots more fun ensued, and more pics were taken. Hubman and ASM hadn't seen each other in quite a few weeks (he'd been off on business half a country away) so they were more interested in getting reacquainted than sticking around with the rest of us. Which is understandable. The next thing I know, everyone else is skinny-dipping in the pool, and I'm left on the side to watch. Which wasn't such a bad thing...

Before heading back to Montana, the big guy had a lunch date with Minority Report. They met up near LaGuardia, and had a very nice lunch. There was some time left before her train left, so we all took a quick trip to a nearby park, where she and I met face to face, as it were. A quick meeting, unfortunately, but a wonderful one! Hopefully we'll get to meet up again!

I ended up going back to Montana, but little did I realize what was on the agenda next! Passport requirements had to be checked!

Sunday, February 13, 2011


I left the waters of Minnesota and my newest friend and was headed west, to the mountains of Colorado and the phenomenon known as Vixen. Rumor had it that she had blue eyes, so I was excited to meet her and see how I would match up. No sooner had I arrived, I was packed away into her suitcase, full of bikini parts. Rather than exploring Colorado, I would be traveling with her to sunny California (once again). This time, to meet up with her best friend Roxy. And a full weekend of debauchery! Of course, the journal I've been traveling with had to be checked out. There might be some top-secret stories and pictures in there!

What I hadn't realized is that Vixen and Roxy take pictures of everything! The sheer volume of pictures is staggering! What you're seeing here is a drop in the bucket. And since this is a somewhat family-oriented blog, there's many that will never show up here! That being said, things started out innocently enough. Even Roxy's dog Sadie got in on the act! But soon the tequila came out, and Vixen started dancing, and the fun was just beginning. And that was just the first night!

The tequila started flowing early the next day. I'm not sure why there's a crossing sign near the pool. There was nary a train in sight! Then again, there were lots of things I saw that I didn't understand. Vixen and Roxy might have had a bit of rivalry going on, trying to gain my affections. Sure, they played nice at first, having their pictures taken with me together. Then all hell broke loose...

I'm not sure how, or who started it, but all of a sudden I found my self in a wrestling match between the two of them. Next thing I know, Roxy's going after Vixen for wearing me. Then Vixen attacks Roxy, who somehow got me away. It was fierce, and you can see Roxy doing her best to fend off Vixen's attacks. At some point, Roxy's husband got involved, and the two of them joined forces and turned on him! There's pictures of that, too, but the nudity was just too much to bear. I had to keep my eyes shut. As best I could... Eventually, Vixen was sent away to sit by herself in a "timeout". Well, by herself, with me. After a brief cooling off period, calmer heads prevailed, someone suggested more tequila, and things quickly returned to normal. Well, what passes as "normal" to these people!

Vixen and Roxy made up in the end, so to speak. And soon it was time for me to go. A quick trip back to Colorado, and I was off to meet up with the big guy, who was going to take me to meet up with some old (and new) friends!

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Off to the North Star State!

I was headed back north. North to the "Land of 10,000 Lakes". The state that hosts the city considered the coldest in the lower 48. Mosquitoes so thick that they block out the sun in the summer. Home to Paul Bunyan and Babe the Blue Ox. Certainly a change from the urban sprawl I'd been seeing over the past few months.

Fortunately, I was sent to visit a lovely girl with a smile that just wouldn't end! Her name was Barefoot Dreamer. She had a bit of hippie in her (obvious with a name like that, don't you think?), and our first visit out was to see some of her friends. These hippies were a bit different than the eco-hippies I met in Florida. These were more of the patchouli scented, bocci ball playing type (hippies play bocci ball?). I did get passed around a bit, and ultimately got worn by BFD and her friend (OK, I understand that I'm a big shirt, but does everyone have to try the two-in-one trick?).

A couple days later, she and I spent some time down at one of the 10,000+ lakes, enjoying the summer sun.Besides her winning smile, the girl has killer legs! After a bit, we started wandering out into the water. One thing lead to another, and eventually, she tossed her top and I onto the beach, and I don't quite recall anything else beyond that point. But I was happy!

But, alas! All good things must come to an end. I was lovingly packed up, and sent on to Colorado. Little did I know what debauchery was to greet me next!

Sunday, January 09, 2011

New Friends and Old - Back to Dallas

After spending time in south Florida, I was en route to the Dallas area, and surprisingly, met even more new people! I thought I'd met everyone there. Dallas must be a big town!

I found myself in the hands of a nice girl by the name of Triple L. A lovely lady with LONG hair, cats, a fiancé, and she had no problems filling out my bluish goodness! I got the impression that she and the big guy were familiar with each other for quite awhile. I was going to ask why she didn't meet up with us when we were in Dallas together a couple of years early, but silly me, I have no mouth. How could I ask her that?? Anyway, our time together was short, and she was eager to get some pictures taken, which I was happy to oblige.

What I didn't realize is that there was apparently some sort of a timeline involved, and promises made, and my time in Big D wasn't supposed to be too long. I'm not sure how, but some of the others I met here previously heard I was in town and insisted on meeting up. So Triple L ventured out to meet up with Shumpy!

We all met up, had a couple of drinks, then I was off with Shumpy. Since the last time I'd seen him, he'd become an internet radio host! So we went to the studio, where he had an upcoming show. He and I spent the show together, and even appeared on the webcam! We went back to his place, where I met somebody new. His girlfriend and I got to know each other a bit... And now I hear they're engaged! Congrats, guys!

I'm not sure how things happened next, but Shumpy got a call from Q (formerly No One In Particular--what's up with the name changes??). This is the same girl that kidnapped me years ago at gunpoint! Shumpy didn't want a repeat of that situation, and since he knew that we'd met one other time since that incident, he figured it was OK to pass me on to her, as long as I was sent off in the mail within hours. As I said, there was some sort of timeline involved. She was quite gracious, and happy to see me, and I, her. But alas, we did have to cut it short to just one night. Apparently I was to head north. Not Kansas-type north, but northern Minnesota north! Almost to the North Pole north!