Days and Nights In the Kingdom of Mean!

I went from one bastion of higher education to another, and found myself the guest of the Queen of Ass! The first couple of days, I stayed in her office, tucked away with many of her textbooks. And some funky art! She had studying and tests and all that good stuff. I basically had about a week off with her, which was nice. Those Texas girls all ran me ragged!

When she was finally able, we had a little makeout session! And then one thing led to another... And, well, I'll let your imagination wander. There were a few other pictures too, but I'm too shy to be posting them here! All in all, I had a wonderful time with the Queen. She seems to be a bit busy all the time, but she's a pretty cool lady! She had one more surprise in store for me, but that came much later! The last thing I remember about her is being sent off for an adventure in Florida!

Ye of Little Faith!

I might have been in the presence of some music gods in Austin, but when I came back to the Dallas area, I wasn't prepared for this! I ended up with Andi, of Estella's Revenge. I'd heard that she was sort of a bookworm, but DAMN! And not only that, she was teaching at the same time! And working on her Master's degree! Wow! I'm not sure I ever made it home with her, but I did spend time in her office, and found myself adorning a neon pink Jesus. I quote from her site:

"...the new cute things I found upon arriving in my office this morning. One is the "Answer Me Jesus" doll. He's a neon pink Jesus that works something like a magic 8-ball. You simply shake him and receive and receive answers to all of life's questions. Things like: "Resist the Devil!" "I Died for This?" and "Ye of Little Faith!" In addition to the pink Jesus TheOtherFeminist also bought us a lime green Buddha head in an orange box..."

I'm not totally sure if I'm going to Hell for that, but I suppose I could always ask him! All I know is that I was on my way to visit a Queen!

Live Music Capital of the World

My time in Kentucky was short-lived, because Texas Spitfire apparently wasn't through with me, and again threatened people with her gun. So I make it Dallas again (you'd think that I lived here...), where Spitfire has met up with AndyT13! And we head to Austin!!

I'd never been to Austin, which makes sense, since the big guy hadn't either. But I can remember watching Austin City Limits on TV! But I had no idea! Music, music, music as far as the eye can see and ear can hear! And friendly people all over. I was passed around to all sorts of strangers to wear. We walked around, and saw Stevie Ray Vaughan! And the Statue of Liberty!



Alot of time was spent around the pool. And frankly, I preferred looking good on her, than on him, but all the while--I did look good! While I enjoyed Austin, I had other places in Texas to visit. And while I looked good with the guitar god (Stevie, not Andy..., well, Andy too!), I was not prepared for who I'd be found with next!

Half a Day in KY!

Possibly it was the trauma of the gunfight, or just being fought over by two lovely ladies, but my mind couldn't quite comprehend my next couple of days. It still makes no sense to me, but I found myself in Kentucky! Robyn took me in, and if things followed the way they had been, I'd be here for a few days. Get to know her cats. And the dogs. And her tremendously cute little girl. And her good-lookin' husband. What I've learned is that you can't anticipate what may or may not happen! Robyn and I spent some quality time together the same night that I came to town. Then I was mailed off again first thing in the morning! What did I do? Did I offend her? Did she just use me and discard me? I was confused. Until I found out where I was to end up...

Gunfight in Texas

The next couple of weeks in my travels were quite confusing, time-consuming, and frankly, DANGEROUS! It all started when I ended up in Dallas. I was originally sent to Texas Spitfire. Apparently, No One In Particular took offense to the fact that I didn't come see her earlier, and she went out to confront Spitfire. It culminated in a showdown in a park, with both participants packin' iron! Fortunately, no shots were fired, and I came out of it unscathed. I might have peed my pants, but since I'm a shirt, I don't wear pants, so that makes no sense. This entire incident really messed me up!



Out of it all, I got to spend quality time with both of them, believe it or not! Here's some pictures with Spitfire, and with NOIP.



At the height of all this, I was shipped of for a whopping half day in Kentucky, only to come back and check out more of Texas! More on that later...!

Doing My Part!

I'm not sure when I found the time to be able to do it, but I did my part for the 5th Annual Blogger Boobie-Thon. With some help of course! This noble effort raises money for breast cancer related causes. The big guy helps out by donating money (and getting his password!), but this year was my first chance to help out as a participant. I certainly hope I'll be able to do something again for Boobie-Thon 2007!

Do All Rednecks Look Like This??

The next stop on my adventure took me to the land of sunflowers and tornadoes and girls in pigtails, clad in blue gingham dresses. Unless you're off to see a transplanted Okie who was born in Alaska! I was happy to be the guest of the Redneck Eskimo, who has been a friend of the big guy's for quite awhile. She was still getting used to her new town, and her new job. But she was willing to take me in for a few days! We didn't get to see a great deal of the new town, since she was sort of new herself, so we mostly stayed in. The really noticeable thing? The rednecks in Montana don't look like this! My next stop? Back to Dallas again. Apparently I didn't get to meet everyone I was supposed to. But who could have anticipated what was about to happen next??

I'd Ride Her Harley Any Day!

After being sent away from the zoo, I found myself in the clutches of a very lovely woman and a motorcycle. This definitely wasn't your typical biker mama by any means! I found my self with No One Special (though I'd disagree to the end of time with that name!).



I remember that it was fairly smoky at the time. Lots of forest fires still around, so I figured I was still in Montana. I definitely remember jumping in the shower with her! I don't know if it helped with the smoky smell any, but it certainly put the starch back in my collar, if you know what I mean!

It quickly became apparent that my destiny was to travel, and not settle down too long at any one location. True to that end, I found myself being sent off to my next stop. Down to the land of rednecks!

My Time At the Zoo

I spent the next couple of days at what I think had to have been a zoo. There were cats everywhere. And a couple of dogs. And horses. And bears. Hummingbirds. Deer. Raccoons. All being run by a very attractive redhead! I seem to have met alot of redheads so far! I learned that this one's name was Crimson. An appropriate name!
This one was different though. I actually felt like I was in a photo studio, rather than having my picture taken at the spur of the moment. Was she a famous model or something? Was I about to become famous? Only time would tell. In the meantime, I played with the cats, the dogs, the horses.... And then one day, I was packaged up and mailed off. Apparently, the adventures were going to continue!

Back Home?

As mentioned in the post below, the big guy pretty much crumbled in my absence. When the girls came back from the Park, they dropped me off with him, and in an instant, I knew I wanted to be back on the road again. He found himself in trouble with the law. I was there to support him as best I could.


But this was bigger than the both of us. He had already paid fines, had a court date, faced more penalties, and generally was a total mess. I knew I couldn't help him. We had a frank discussion, as only a shirt and its owner can, and it was decided that yes, it would be best if I were to go away. It really was for the best. Little did I know how bad things were, until he was picked up AGAIN by law enforcement while delivering me to my next destination! Fortunately, he was allowed to deliver me before having to face any more problems...


We said our goodbyes, and I looked forward to new adventures at my new home...

Camping Out

As I was sent away, I definitely felt a bit of a chill in the air. I certainly wasn't in the blazing heat of Texas anymore! There was something familiar in the air. It felt like home, but not quite. As soon as my package was opened up, it was again apparent that the big guy didn't have me, but a couple of his friends did. Rachel and Moose were now my keepers. This could only mean one of two things. I was one step closer to home, or I was going to be invoved in a nasty intervention. Only time would tell. My dream mentioned in the prior post was more of an omen than nightmare. I was here with Moose again, but I was all in one piece! Whew!

We didn't go to see the big guy. Instead we went camping up at Hidden Lake in beautiful Glacier Park. Beautiful sunny days, without the heat of Texas. Cool crisp nights, clear waters, wildlife, campfires, more stars than you can count.


It was a nice couple of days, which was desperately needed. Little did I realize what had happened with the big guy in my absense. It wasn't pretty...